7.02.2004

So I'm still sick despite eating a bunch of ponkans and taking more than a thousand milligrams of Vitamin C :( The thing is, I'm pretty healthy. I rarely get sick, so when I do, I'm so not used to the feeling. Usually my mom tells me that I can recover quickly from sickness but not this time. :( Maybe its because of the stress and the puyat caused by thesis plus my other subjects. Sometimes, I just want to lie down in bed,and just stare off in space...

Bad timing talaga!! >:( Just when I need all my energy to finish our thesis, especially now that its "crunch time"...

I just hope that I'll feel much better by next week. I don't like this feeling. Sometimes I get into a zone where I just want to be quiet and just curl up in a chair cause I don't think I could take it anymore. But then my friends would ask me what's wrong, and I would give a weak smile. I guess they're not used to seeing me like that. I remember Seyds telling me that out of all of us, I'm the one that could drag the whole group down if I'm feeling low, cause I'm usually the cheerful one. I should probably consider taking a break this Saturday cause maybe that's just what i would need. But then there's still thesis. And I guess, since this is a critical time, I feel that it would be unfair for my other groupmates if I won't be able to do my share. Plus there's the matter of..

My barkada from high school are inviting me to go out to Makati tommorrow night, just eat out then either go for coffee or "inuman". I really want to go cause I really miss them. My friend, Juls, even offered to take care of me, with ride and all, so I could just come. Cause my dad would only allow me to go out if only there is transpo or I have a friend to take me home. Anyway, its been a long time since I was able to catch up with them since the last time I was able to go out with them was still probably back in April. But I don't think my parents would let me since I'm still feeling weak. They would probably say that I should just rest than go out and tire myself out.. but we'll see.. "pa-drama" effect me tommorrow. :) heehehe

But even if I felt that the past few days have been a downer, God gives little surprises that makes me happy and grateful still. Its because I got a relatively high grade on a test I did'nt expect to pass, getting some Slam Dunk episodes, Au helped me on some Photoshop problems, and then when I went Videoke singing with Joms, Rage and Niks, for the first time, I got a high score that redeemed me and proof that I can still be a "superstar". haha! :D

Next week, I'll be expecting the worst. I've got importants tests and thesis. I still don't know what to do. Sometimes, I just want to say I should'nt have done what I did but one thing about me is that I don't give up. I remember before when I was just a sophomore, and still living the "easy life" which resulted to some problems, my mom suggested that maybe I should just shift course. Although I knew that it was the most logical thing to do since during that time, I knew a lot of people who either shifted, transfered or worse, been kicked out, and I knew in my heart that geeting out of CS, would still mean a failure. And for me, I saw this course as a challenge, that I intended to win over, so i stuck by my decision and I'm proud to say that despite being "tamad", here I am still. :D ...but when stressful times like these come, I can't help but wished I did'nt take CompSci, then I just say to myself " yan! yan! ang yabang mo kasi! ".. hehhe. :D

bic walked away at 11:58 PM