9.30.2004

WUHOOOOOO!! Right this moment, LaSalle just won the Basketball Championship. Last na lng. WUHOOOOOO!! I'm super duper happy!! :D Super fave ko tlga si Casio!!! Grabe, kaya nga even during the Ateneo Game, even if Joms or Kar did'nt want to cheer for him, "Go! Casio! Go! Casio!" pa rin me. hehe. Animo La Salle!! My dad was sports enough to congratulate me. hehe.. Naiiyak me and at the same time super want to jump for joy. hehe. Last na lng..

WUHOOOOOO!!!! Animo LaSalle! :D

bic walked away at 6:32 PM

9.29.2004

Ang Tatlong Maria (me being the youngest. hehe)

Its been awhile since my sisters and I went out. Probably the last time was when my parents went to States and my ate decided to treat us. :) That's why when we went to watch The Notebook last Friday, we decided to have our pictures taken. hehe. Just love spending time with my sisters. :) There's this unspoken and given intuition. I mean, by just looking at each other, we know that were thinking of the same thing or we'll just laugh without saying anything. hehe. :) Promise, when you meet us, its as if were all the same. hehe. The laugh, the tone of voice. hehe. ;) Just love them. :) Just like tonight, my ate just gave me her bag which I always borrowed. hehe. :) Iwas super thankful cause I know its a branded bag but maybe she saw how much i really liked it, or lagi kasi takas ko na binaborrow. hehe. :)

bic walked away at 1:01 AM

9.28.2004

Today, i was able to watch another movie. Saya! New movie every week :D Have to say thanks to Co, for making pilit. hehe. :D At the last minute, I did'nt really want to go cause I still felt really sleepy but I did'nt want to break my word so I still went anyways. :) I'm so proud of myself cause I was able to go to school by Jeep and LRT. hehe. :) The downside of the commute was I mistakenly got into the male section of the LRT. I was such in a hurry that I did'nt notice good thing aircon. :P I decided to "commute" because if I did'nt, I would'nt be able to reach school by the meeting time. I did'nt want to be the cause of the delay knowing na andun pa sina Lion and Joms. Baka mapagalitan pa ako. hehe. :)

Anyway, we were able to watch the "Bourne Supremacy". I liked the movie and I was impressed by how Matt Damon played the part. :) Because of that I kinda found him cute but only in that movie alone. hehe. I guess there's just something about guys that makes them gwapo when they're so good at what they do. I mean, for instance, most basketball players are not really super cute, but girls just love them. After that we ate at Gonuts Donuts, took some pictures, and talked a little about chismis. Until now, I firmly believe that Guys are more chismosa than girls. Its just that girls are more open in doing so, while Guys, they may seem quiet but truth is they are silently listening and getting all the chismis they could possibly get. Kaya sometimes I'm no longer surprised when my Dad or my guy friends know more showbiz chikka than I am. hehe. Since I had to catch my 4:20 class, I had to leave early with Co to go to school. Unfortunately, since it was so traffic, I was late but good thing, i was late for just about 5 mins worth of lessons. :) Even more good news was that our prof might cancel our class for thursday ;D

After dinner, my sister just told me she's going to watch the game cause a friend of hers gave her a ticket. I told her "WHAT ABOUT ME!?" Waaaaaaaah!!! :(

bic walked away at 8:03 PM

9.27.2004

While waiting for my dad, since Tufe and Niks already left, I decided to just surf the net in the lobby with my laptop. All of a sudden, this seemingly old guy from the table beside me started talking to me. To be honest, it was okay at first. I really did'nt mind cause its only normal and I, myself like to meet new people but then when his questions became more frequent as in super, it was kinda annoying. He even asked if I was into chatting since he was blatanly looking at my screen, and so he commented how I had a lot of people I was chatting with in my YM. In a subtle way, I told him I was only into chatting if I already knew the person, meaning either a friend or a relative. I told him I did'nt feel comfortable talking to strangers so i never really got into those MIRC or accepting invitations from strangers in Friendster. I thought he would able to get a clue but I guess he did'nt. Because soon after he was asking what year I was in, what course and what I was doing. haaaaaay!! I'm never really the snobbish or taray type (even if I look like one), so I still answered his inquiries. And of course, to be civil, I asked him also the questions he was throwing at me. Turned out he was taking up BMG and was just in his 3rd year. pero promise, he looked way older than me. ahem! hhehe :D promise! Good thing Kar came but unfortunately, she was so hungry that she decided to eat at the gallery. I was like making these signs to her to sit beside me but she would'nt. grr!! Even though it was quite obvious that i was busy doing something, and that I was chatting, he even asked questions ranging from my pierced earrings(?!!) to even the longevity of my laptop's battery. But the main catch was that when my dad called to tell that he was already in front of the bldg, this guy said "That must be your boyfriend". Grabbbbbbeee?!! I immediately called after Kar, so she would come to me. I told her to fix her things quickly cause I wanted to leave na tlga. Of course, I did'nt want to be disrespectful so I told him that I would be leaving na, and I knew by that, he would ask my name and he did. I wanted to tell a different name but I'm not good in lying, so I just told him that my name was Marivic. Did'nt want to say "Bic" cause di kami close ah! :P "Hope to see you whenever" he said before I left. I just put up a smile but deep inside, ngeee!! :P

I'm not trying to be mean but its okay that he was asking a couple of questions, but asking a LOT of questions was a different matter considering that hindi kami super close and not to mention that I just met him today. My friends say that I can easily make new friends and that i try to make the person feel welcome pero nakikiramdam din me. I want to make sure that this new friend of mine feels comfortable and not uncomfortable in anyway. but at least, I was able to know 2 things: First, ndi me boring. Second, ndi me mukhang nakakatakot kausapin. hehe! :P

Anyway, earlier in class, I don't know how we came across the topic of Jolina but some of the people in the class was saying how jologs Jolina was. This reminded our prof of this song. So he began singing with matching actions, the song.."Kapag tumibok ang puso, walang magagawa kundi sundin ito", then he made a remark in class that whoever knew the singer of that song, was really ..... all of a sudden, I blurted out, "Donna Cruz!". hahahah!! :D Sorry po, I knew the answer! hehe.:P

bic walked away at 8:06 PM

9.26.2004

I'm feeling so bitter but I'm still optimistic :) Yup, I was able to watch the La Salle Game Live at Araneta with my sister :) Thanks Michael. :) Unfortunately, my ate could'nt come cause of her tummy ache. :( But let me just say that it wasn't my fault that we lost. grr! beh! Its just that some of my friends txted me that I should'nt have watched it live. harhar!! excusme!! :P

Anyway, win or lose, I'm still glad that i was able to watch it cause even if I was still kinda sick, I still cheered with all my heart. I did'nt care if we were seated almost near the FEU bench, I just cheered and cheered. hehe Speaking of FEU, I really don't like calling other people with names, but kanina, as in super..ah basta. I mean, they were like throwing their paper fans in the court and then disrupting or ruining the La Salle cheers. Tapos nakikisali pa sa wave ng La Salle. hehe Medyo nakakagigil. grr! But not compared to this girl who was just 2 seats away from us. She would just cheer excitedly but since we were near the FEU crowd, whenever the FEU would change the Lasalle Cheer, she would just like throw her cheering paraphernalias in anger. haha! :) I know its only normal or part of the game, but I can't help but compare them whenever we have a game against Ateneo. I'm pretty sure the intensity is also the same cause I've been there a couple of times but still, there is still respect. grr tlga!

Haaaayy, I mean, there were so many times that we came so close that i was practically screaming and jumping from excitement, but I guess, there really should be a Game 3 :( It would have been a really good feeling to go home a winner and at the same time, a slap in those FEU faces if only we would have won. :( grr tlga!

What was worse was when my parents and my ate picked us up at Glorietta. Since we were all their anyways, we all decided to eat dinner there. Of course, the topic would be about the game. I was too miserable to tell all the details to my ate but one person was extremely happy. My Dad. Its because he graduated from THAT school. :P Although I was still asar, it still would'nt compare to my sister's feelings. hehe. :) Even while eating, she was telling my ate how jologs the other school was. Sorry but from now on, I won't mention their school name anymore. :p. Anyway, even if my sister was calling the other school with names, since my dad was mapang-asar, he thrived on these situations. He kept telling my mom that, "Jologs nga, panalo naman" or like "Jologs naman, matalino naman" in this sing songy voice. grrr!! Usually it would'nt affect us but since we were kinda emotional, kakaasar to hear it. :P

Sayang lang talaga cause Cardona did'nt win the MVP award :( I really believed that he deserved it. Just seeing how he matured this season was incredible. He might still be "magulang" in some ways but at least he does'nt pick up fights often as compared before where he would trashed talk just about anyone. hehe. Away! Away! But what was worse was you could'nt really say any bad thing about Arwynd Santos cause i think he's not only a good player but a good person as well. I mean you could also hand him a sportsmanship award cause he's just so cool on court. I mean, if it were Villanueva, I could say a lot of awful things in protest for his win. hehe. But with Santos, I really could'nt think of any cause honestly, he's also one of my fave UAAP players.

Anyway, enough of Basketball. I'm feeling "grr!!". When we got home, my dad asked for my help with the DVDs. Since one of my Dad's form of relaxation was to watch movies, he bought this sound system for our TV where a couple fo the speakers are placed strategically in the room to "surround" you hehe . Its also good for videoke singing. hehe ;) To be able to maximize the sound systems's features, it's best to use DVDs, so my dad immediately bought a couple of new ones. Unfortunately, he bought a lot of Clint Eastwood movies. Clint Eastwood!?! Woooww!! How are we suppose to be able to enjoy those DVDs. I love action movies but not those kinds :P I like those Nicolas Cage type of movies like The Rock (yeahhh!!) , but Clint Eastwood. grr!! Or mayb I'm just still feeling bitter :P

bic walked away at 9:52 PM

9.24.2004

Although The Notebook is one of my most fave books, for some reasons, I was not able to see its film version during the first few weeks it was shown. Inuna ko pa Feng Shui. hehe. Fortunately, I was still able to catch its final run today at G4 together with my beloved sisters :D Surprisingly, a lot of people still watched it, infact some people were still standing. And I must say although I cried at the last scene, frankly, i was dissapointed. Maybe because with the book, it was fully able to build and at the same time, grasp the love and loyalty of Noah towards Allie unlike in the movie. Maybe it paled in comparison because since I loved the book, I could'nt help but compare it detail by detail. I guess, with the exception of the Lord of the Rings, books are still better in general. But the essence of the movie was still there just like with the book that it still made me cry, although it would'nt compare to the tears that i've shed while reading the book. hehe. I could'nt forget my ate's reaction when she turned to me as the lights were turned on "Umiyak ka!?!". hehe. Sorry. I could'nt help it :)

Anyway, I just love Friday Nights. Friday Nights are synonymous to being in Glorietta, Podium or in Rockwell!! :D Wether it be with my friends or with my sisters or with my parents, it will always be fun with or without money :) After classes, since I knew The Notebook would still be showing, I told my sisters that we JUST have to see it. My mom was really thoughtful that she even bought tickets already since she knew how much we wanted to see it. Unfortunately, don't you just hate those times when you're just in a hurry but it seems everything seems to not cooperate? I mean, like during thesis submission, its crunchtime when suddenly, the printer breaks down. grr! Or aquestion you did'n study for but comes up in a test. grr! Just like kanina, we were all set to go to Makati to catch the movie, but for some reasons, there was this as in super duper major traffic. I'm not saying this because he's my daddy, but my dad's a real good driver. He knows all the shortcuts, good in cutting in, and basta he's good. period. Anyway, every street that he tried was literally congested. grr!! It was a good thing that the tickets my mom bought for us could still be usable for the later time cause it was quite obvious we were not able to make it. But still, all ended well. We met up with my ate while my mom pampered herself in the parlor. Buti pa sya. As soon as we got there, I immediately ate. hehe. Then capped it off with some candies from Candy Corner :) My daddy was really sweet cause he even thought of my younger cousins and so he also bought them some candies. awww. :) Am so lucky to have my dad :) Even if he teases or makes asar much worse than Tufe, or Rage or Lion or Alf combined, I love him super! :D hehe. Since we were to watch a romantic film, of course my dad did'nt want to go with us. hehe. So my sisters and I, while waiting for the scheduled time, decided to shop for some earrings cause my ate would treat us. hehe. But then I did'nt like anything, so did Kar, and I did'nt really want to buy something just because it was libre. Instead we just spent it on those Kodak Pictures infront of Timezone. I must say those pictures of the 3 of us looked really good. hehe.

After the movie, we met up with our parents and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Perfect for making paalam for Sunday's game. hihi. During our way home, they did'nt say yes YET. My mom was worried cause she knew I would be shouting during the game which would be bad for me since she heard me coughing the last time :P And when i said would just clap instead, my sisters immediately looked at me sarcastically. Kaya ko nman eh! hehe. Haayy, but with the 3 of us full force, I'm sure the YES is on its way. hehe. :)

bic walked away at 11:56 PM

9.23.2004

may gusto ka bang sabihin
ba't di mapakali
ni hindi makatingin
sana'y wag mo na itong palipasin
at subukang lutasin
sana'y sinabi mo na..

iba'ng nararapat sa akin
na tunay kong mamahalin

wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama
itong pag-ibig kong handang ibigay..
kahit pa kalayaan mo

ano man ang iyong akala
na ako'y isang bituinna walang sasambahin
di ko man ito ipakita
abot langit ang daing
sana'y sinabi mo na...

at sa gabi, sinong duduyan sa'yo...
at sa umaga, ang hangin ang hahaplos sa'yo...

wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama
itong pag-ibig kong handang ibigay
kahit pa kalayaan mo...


Wag na wag mong Sasabihin
Kitchie Nadal

bic walked away at 8:47 PM

9.22.2004

Grrr! I wished Coline and Christie won the Amazing Race. Even if i was puyat, i still woke up early to catch the live telecast. hehe. Anyway, I know most people don't really like Colin and Christie but they're still my favorites. hehe. Don't ask me why, its just is. I think they're one of the most competitive, skilled, entertaining and "galing" teams this season. I mean, just watching Colin's temper flare up is so amusing. hehe. I mean who would forget the Carabao incident? But still, got to admire them. Especially the part wherein they came in as the last team since they were yielded, and after that, with no money, considering that it was in the last leg of the race, but still, they managed to become leaders anyway. I'm not being bitter but super suwerte tlga nina Chip. I mean who would have thought being last would in turn be a blessing in disguise. I mean, if they did'nt came in last, they would not have known about the delay in flights and all. But I guess, you've got to accept it. But it just proves a point that in life, its not just ALL about hardwork, but it also takes a little bit of Luck to succeed :D Pero galing pa rin nina Colin. Its true what Phil said, they are one of the most competitive teams ever. I bet, if their flight was not delayed, they would have won it. I must admit I was quite impressed on how Colin strategized when it came to the maze, and Chip knew it also, cause he thought of him as very logical. In some ways, Colin's temper reminded me of another team before, Ian and Teri (Hurahh! Hurahh!). If you're a fan of the Amazing Race like I am, you would know this team. haha! :D Coincidently, they also came in second. :P

One thing that really made me laugh during the final episode was when the teams of Colin and Brandon were climbing up snowy mountain. Just goes to show how these two teams are so different. Since the girls were having a difficult time climbing, the guys of course said some motivation, which were:

Brandon: Picture him (God) at top of the mountain hugging us.
Colin: Picture the one million dollars.

Hahhhaha!! :) of course that were not the exact words but something to that effect. hehe. :)

bic walked away at 9:24 PM

9.21.2004

ALICIA KEYS

"Wag ka magulo ah!" .. That's what my daddy told while walking on our way to the hospital. Woow!! Grabe!! I felt like a 3 year old kid about to cause mischief! Grrr!! Anyway, we were there to pick up my sister since she was to visit her pregnant friend which was also the daughter of my dad's kumpare and my ninong as well. hehe :D I don't know why, but being in a hospital just makes me feel akward and uncomfortable. And I guess it was really that way cause since I was'nt really close with my ate's friend, me being there made me feel uneasy. I really did'nt have much to say. And i knew my ate felt the same way too considering the situation that her friend was into. Good thing before going there, my dad and I decided to eat first. hehe. I love eating with my dad cause with him, no holds barred! hehe :) Since we wanted to eat in a nearby restaurant with parking, we tried this place called, My Tea Place, since it was the most convinient for us. What was funny for me was my dad didn't want to eat there since it was'nt filled with people and all. But then I said "Daaadd!! If turo-turo nga po, kumakain kayo" hehe. and that got him, which was a good thing cause their Wanton Noodle Soup there was suuuper good! :) hehe. :)

Finally, I'm no longer scared to go to my Litera Class :) I knew this was coming and it did. The group yourselves part. As soon as the prof said that, I could'nt help but mangalumbaba :( Its because my only friend in the class was seated at the farthest seat from where I was seating since we were to be arranged alphabetically. Haaay!! But good thing, during the early part of the class, my prof gave out a paper to be passed around so we could write our email address. Fortunately but at the same time unfortunately,I did'nt hear her instructions so instead of writing my email add, I accidentally put my signature. Stupid tlga! But you know how a funny incident always breaks the ice? It did, because my seatmate was able to point out my mistake. hehe. Kayiha super! But at least when it came to the groupings, he was able to ask if we could be groupmates since he was not also part of the block and as luck would have it, he was also friends with my first friend :) The last thing that I would want to happen is for my prof to ask "Sinong walang ka Group?" and in turn, I would shyly raise my hand. Buti na lng! :D



Lastly, while going to school for my one class ( haaaaay!) heard an interview by Alicia Keys. She's going to be here in manila for her Alicia Keys World Tour 2004 which will be on October 9 at Araneta. Shooooooockkkks!!! I super duper want to go. Unfortunately, the cheapest ticket is priced at 844. Meaning, that could even be in the bleachers area.. waaaaahh!!! Guess, I should just be content with my MP3s :'( Anyone willing me ilibre? cge naaa! :)

bic walked away at 9:08 PM

9.18.2004

Baduy na if I'm Baduy, but I'm just a sucker for scary movies. So it really would'nt be a surprise why I watched Feng Shui tonight. Just got home from Makati. and the movie? Loved it! super! I'm not ashamed to admit that ever since I was a kid, even Tagalog movies like Shake, Rattle and Roll or Tiyanak, scared me till I could'nt sleep. But if you think I'm brave and all, what's ironic is that I easily get scared. As in easily. I remembered before when I was a kid, after watching those Magandang Gabi Horror Specials, my Ate would try to scare me by saying continously "ayan sa likod mo", and by that I would just cry till i could'nt breathe anymore. And that would be the only time she would stop. tsk! tsk! Looking back, it could be considered funny, but truth is, I'm still like that but of course, not in THAT way. I must admit i do still get scared. But the thing is, I still LOVE watching scary movies. In fact I'm not your typical girl which prefers romantic movies. Scary movies for me if you ask me. I JUST love the thrill, the suspense, the chills that it just gives you. Yup, I'm that person in the movie house who screams as if she was the one starring in that horror movie. I'm that person who clings to her seatmate tightly even if the scene is not frightening yet. I'm that person who cries for mercy so the movie would just stop showing those scary scenes. I'm that person who tries not to look at the scary faces at the screen but still sees it anyways and still ends up screaming. But most of all, I'm that person in the movie house who screams alone, even if the others find that scene corny. Yup, that's me during scary movies. hahha! :D

When I got hold that there was a new scary movie, which was Feng Shui, even if it was Tagalog, I did'nt really cared. Call me jologs but I just wanted to watch a scary movie. And Good thing that I did. I must admit I was even quite surprised that since we were watching at G4, the line for the movie was long. It was scary for me alright! Lets just say all the things that I've mentioned earlier about the things I do when watching a scary movie, all those happened while watching Feng Shui. And by that, it passed my criteria of a good scary movie, considering that its Filipino Made. I have watched those Japanese movies like The Eye, The Grudge or my favorites like The Sixth Sense andThe Others, maski nga Bankok Haunted, pinatulan ko eh, that's how much I love scary movies that I could'nt help but compare Feng Shui. And I must say, even if it was not as good visually or story wise, it still WOULD NOT pale in comparison. Pwde pa rin! hehe Promise! And no, its not because you all insists I'm like Kris but I believe, in its own way, it was able to deliver well because even if it had those obvious imitations of those foreign movies, it was still unique in its own way because it had a touch of our own culture. And just the technicality of how it was directed. The angle of the shots and all. Promise, sigaw me ng sigaw! hehe. To think my sore throat is still on its healing progress. hehe. But the good thing about it is that most of the people reacted the same way that I did. hehe. Unlike the last time I watched a Filipino Scary movie. I believed it was Malikmata. hihih. :D I don't know why Rage, Me and Co wanted to watch that film but we did. or maybe I persuaded them. hehe. And I think I was the only one who screamed in surprise or in terror in that movie. haha! :)

My sisters and I enjoyed Feng Shui. Right after we stood up, I really held tightly to my ate. hehe :) What was funny was that there were cameras outside the cinema. Probably getting reactions from the movie goers, my sisters and I literally ran so the camera would'nt see us. From that, nabunggo tuloy me sa poste. grr!! haha! :D While my mom did'nt really liked it that much. I guess, it would be expected of her to feel that way, since my mom just wanted to watch that movie to see Kris. Haaay.. showbiz!! And if we reacted differently to the cameras, my mom was like walking real slow. hahaha! again... showbiz!!! While my dad, stubbornly refused. Even if I told him that his ticket would be free since i have that Gentxt card, so he could just sleep inside the movie house, since his super ANTI-kris, he'd rather walk around than "sumama lng ang loob" in watching Kris. hehe. :)

If you've got nothing to do and just want to watch somehting for fun or for the thrills, I promise, watch this movie. hehe. :) Its not really super scary like the Sixth Sense which literally gives you the chills or has this "after effect" but this movie can still give you even just a little of both still. hehe. :) or that's just me, I mean coming from a girl who gets scared with even just a horror sound..so i guess its up to you.. hehe:)

bic walked away at 1:24 AM

9.15.2004

Even if I look thin, I rarely get sick. Must be the vitamins or maybe malakas lng resistensya ko. :) But the bad thing about it is that since I don't get sick often, when I do, I feel like my body's about to fall :( Unfortunately, I feel like I've got the worse sore throat ever and my back is aching like never before. haaaay!! I don't know if its because from the shouting that I did from the game or that I'm not getting enough sleep lately. I felt so weak that during the latter part of the day, I barely talked and just looked spaced out. Tufe kept telling me that he was so not used to me being like that. Actually, whenever I decide to just keep quiet, or if I'm feeling sad, my friends can't help but say that it's so not me. huh?! Is it because its as if I laugh everytime? or I'm like always lively? hehe :D

The only good thing that happened to me was during Litera1. I know I kept saying how I always feel nervous when its Litera time but its only because I don't know anyone from that class esp since its a non-Gox class, but I was so relieved today cause I know someone from the class na!:) As usual, upon entering the class, I opted to sit at the back. At first, I wanted to text some friends so I would be able to do something, but I decided not to, sayang din credits ko. hehe. Good thing, this guy spoke to me first and soon we were having a conversation. He seemed really nice. I've learned that he was taking up BMG and was from Grace Christian. yey! May friend na rin me. hehe.

I just hope by tommorrow, I'll feel much better. I've eaten a bunch of oranges already. I'll just do some online stuff for school, and after drinking my hot calamansi juice which by the way, feels suuuuuuppperr great whenever I take a sip, I'm off to bed. I'll just let my sleep take care of me. :)

bic walked away at 9:14 PM

9.14.2004

wuhoooooooo!! :D Lasalle won against Ateneo today to gain the "twice to beat" advantage for the finals seat. :) But what's even better is that I had the chance to watch it live. hehe :)

Since Kar had classes til 2:30, I had to wait for her. At first, I was a little bit hesitant to go because she was with her friends, but at the lat minute and good thing as well, cause she decided to just go without them. hehe. :) It was my first time to go to Araneta without having Seyds or the other "cubao" people with me, so i was a little bit nervous. And since I was the older one, I had to take care of Kar and be responsible. yeeeess! :) hehe. I even had to text Seyds and Lion for the directions. hehe. Grabe nga eh, everytime we would buy our tickets for the LRT and MRT, the trains were just about to leave. grr! So we were kinda late when we got to Araneta. But not too late for the game to start already. hehe. Good thing, Lion and Joms were there. I must admit I was touched by their gesture, for txting, saving us seats and all. Although the saving of seats were courtesy of Lion's older sister and brother. But most of all, really appreciated the fact that they waited for us outside Araneta, instead of us looking for them. *hindi ako nag dadrama* :P


All smiles after the game
(Lion, Joms, Me)

Anyway, it was a really good game. It was so good that it seemed like the game happened so fast. Nothing beats watching the game live. Last time I watched was last season, and I really make it a point to watch at least one game per season. I mean, not just for my love for my school and basketball in general but just hearing the beat of the drums, or the chant of the crowd is really something. I cheered as loud as I could. hehe. Made me missed Highschool :) I remembered when I was part of the Pep Squad, where even if there were just a few people watching, we would just cheer as if the team was really winning. hehe. :) Although I was kinda dissapointed cause Casio was not really able to perform well. Kasi naman, I was forcing Joms, Lion and Kar to cheer for him but they just won't. hmp! :) Yan, I was all alone in cheering for him :P But besides that, it was fun cheering for the team cause everyone played really well. There was even an old man in front of us who cheered and complained loudly and with actions pa ha, cause he was so into the game that he really made me smile.

Since Kar and I had to be back before 7 at school, after the game ended, we immediately had to leave. At first, we were doing okay until, we got down from the MRT station. haaayy.. i didn't know where to go. It was like dejavu. Because I remembered before when we went to National Bookstore in QC for our Manacon project, i had to leave ahead of Ruz, and Seyds because I had a class, after the MRT ride, I did'nt know where the LRT station was that I ended up walking and walking till I reached the Baclaran station!! Grabe!! Anyway, since Kar and I did'nt know where it was, even if there was a sign that said "Walang Tawiran Nakamamatay". Hala! Sige! We still crossed anyway. hehe. Good thing the MMDA guy was'nt looking our way. But at least we were able to reach La Salle before 7, just in time for our dad to pick us up :)

I just hope that LaSalle really wins the next game :) It would be extra sweet cause not only are they in the Finals again but its because they beat Ateneo along the way :) Hope I could watch the next game again.. live! ;)

bic walked away at 9:48 PM

9.13.2004

ANIMO

First day of classes have always been exciting and at the same time scary for me. I know I should be used to this feeling by now, but for some reasons, this term I'm feeling more scared. Maybe its because I know that this should be my last term, and as childish as it may sound, it kinda feels lonely. I mean, although Co and Seyds still have their thesis and I still have Tufe in most of my classes, I guess, its still not the same :( I mean, even going to my Litera class, I could'nt help but feel nervous. hehe :D Its been a long time since I cross enrolled alone.

During lunchtime, while Tufe, Jon and I were having lunch, it suddenly crossed my mind that I would no longer meet Ruz or Farids even Gian later, or that we don't have any thesis room to go to, to see Niks, Rage and the others. I mean, I'm not complaining that we passed Thesis (hehe) but maybe what I'm trying to say is I miss my friends already :( No wonder while walking in the lobby or at La Salle per se, the mere sight of friends like Lion, Shatz, Ellie, Kathy, Ge, and other batchmates, I can't help but smile and my eyes just light up cause somehow, it felt like the way it was before :) I don't know what's gotten into me and I'm feeling kinda senti, maybe its the monday blues or just the old plain feeling that its "school again!?!"

But i guess, first day of classes wasn't really that bad AT ALL. Maybe except for that moment when i was making drama and all. hehe ;) I know my friends would just laugh or even make a *sighing* sound, but there really is just something about my red shirt. hehe :) I wore it today cause I feel that I'm lucky whenever I do wear it. Promise! Before whenever I wore that shirt, I would always have an interaction with ponkan, I know that's impossible to happen right now, instead today, who would have thought I would be classmates with my crush from way before, or that i'd be able to talk to this cute guy. hahaha! :P But most of all, I got tickets for the DLSU-ADMU game. YIPEEEEEEE!!!! :D Thanks to Kar's friend, Patchoi :) Since I had classes to attend to, and Kar and I was still nowhere at the half part of the line, Patchoi was nice enough to buy tickets for us. hehe. :)

Am so excited for tommorrow :) No need to be senti and all. haha! :D I guess, sobrang nasanay lng me last term where everything was like a routine and that it seemed like there was so much to do each time. Thesis, Classes, Thesis. And so now, I feel so "vacant" hehe :) I would have gotten a part time job but my mom would'nt let me. grr! I guess, this term, I would really just try to make the most out of it. I'll try to be a nerd even just this once. Kayanin ko kaya? hehe :D

bic walked away at 8:49 PM

9.12.2004

is it just me or my YM's just really acting funny? Super weird!! The names and the avatars are all mixed up even the status message :( Its quite funny at first because you could see an avatar of a girl beside a guy's name, but then since its totally mixed up, I would message the wrong person. And almost every minute, there would be a message of someone logging out, when they're not. super grr!!

bic walked away at 10:37 PM

9.11.2004

Am looking at our galera pics right now, and.... TAWA ME NG TAWA HERE!!!! :D

hahhaahh!! :)
hahhaahh!! :)
hahhaahh!! :)

especially just reading the comments. hahhaha!! :D I miss Puerto Galera already. Parang everything happened so fast. But most of all, I miss my friends already.. yeeess! drammaaa! :) hehe!

As of now, since there are like almost 5oo pictures and i'm not even at a quarter of seeing it, my top picks for the funny pics, not in particular order are..

1. love team of zaids and the bangkero
2. seyda picture (skating part 2)
3. Joms squinting. hehe
4. me in obvious pain, carrying seyds.
5. alf like a dwarf in niks' hands

BUT TOPPING THIS LIST is Joms picture trapped in the hammock (IMG_1259). Dito me may pinakamalakas na tawa. hahah! :) Grabe Joms. Bow me sayo! heheh. :)

so far, this list is just temporary. still to be udpated. hahaa!! :) watch out! you could be in this list! bwahahaha! :D

bic walked away at 1:00 AM

9.10.2004

Thank God Its Friday! :D Hope I'm really maximizing my vacation. hehe. :) Although I went to greenbelt yesterday, I still went to Glorietta today. Yup! I never get tired of going to malls. :) Although as I've said before that I'm dirt poor, I think I can take pride that I am good shopper. Oo na, nagbubuhat me ng sariling bangko. But its true! hehe! :D I know where the great bargains are, and during Sales, i can find those great buys. hehe. :D That's why I super duper love Midnight Madness Sales.

Went to Makati today cause since I was in school for adjustment, I might as well go out some more:) Kapal nga ng mukha ko, considering I don't have money. So what I did was to save some of my allowance given for today, so I could buy some stuff for my room. hehe. I don't know why, but lately, I've been into fixing, cleaning and decorating my room. Anyway, met up with Tufe for hopefully our last adjustment :D Took us only a short time, then we saw Co, since she had to get her EAF.Since I really wanted to go to Makati, I had to go there by cab. Good thing, Tuf and Co were nice enough to help me look for one. I was suppose to watch, The Notebook, with my sister. Unfortunately, at the last minute, i found out that she stayed at our house and did'nt go to Makati. Saaaad! :( Super wanted to watch that movie since one of my all time fave books was The Notebook. Hopefully, we'll be able to watch it tommorrow. :)

Since I found out that my sister would'nt be there, and if ever Co was going to be in Makati, I'm pretty sure she would be with her family, I was kinda bummed out since I would be a loner. So i texted my mom who was there also, but unfortunately, she was with a client, so I was really a loner talaga:( But then when I realized that I had enough money to be able to shop, that got me into high spirits. yey!! My mind was racing on what to buy first. Haaay! Just the thrill of shopping :D I'd like to compare the excitement of shopping like watching your fave basketball team winning. haha! :) I was able to buy a couple of stuff for my room with only 150 pesos. Ang galing ko talaga! haha! :) That's because I had to canvass all the malls for prices. Went to Landmark, Glorietta to even SM just so I would know which offered the cheaper price. hehe. :)

Since shopping took much of my energy, I was super hungry. And since I had no money, I knew who to call.. My Dad. hehe! :) So I met up with my parents, and we ate at this Chinese Restaurant called Tang City. I JUST LOVE CHINESE FOOD!! GRABBBEEEE!!! ang sarap!!! Although lahat naman masarap sa akin. hehe. Since my dad always wants me to gain weight, he always orders a lot. WOOOOOW!!! :D I guess when it comes to food, you could say that I'm pretty much spoiled :) Seeing the menu, I didn't know what to choose. But of course, I would not forget my ever fave, Lemon Chicken. Since my mom's on a forever diet, my dad and I shared the dishes that could actually serve a group of 5. Butbetween my dad and I, we were able to finish them all.hehe I was even able to inject some dessert pa! hehe :D


me and my daddy


all for me. hehe


still has room for dessert.

Because of that dinner, I felt like I was pregnant. haha! :) Kaso, the sad part is that even if I eat like a guy, I don't gain weight. :( Parang sayang lang money ng dad ko :( huhuhu! Maybe by this term, I'd be able to gain weight since there'd be no more stress anymore. :) After that, I don't know why my mom kept insisting that me and my dad should watch a movie. But I guess, I was'nt in the mood so I just said that I would walk around the mall first, while my dad shopped for a bday gift for his mom, my lola:) Since I was so full, the next best thing to do was to walk around. Good thing cause I was able to discover and buy this cheap but practical storage box for my room. :) Since I was so full, I got tired easily so I met with my dad again. And where was my mom? HAAAYY!! no wonder, she wanted us to watch a movie so she would be able to go to a parlor. haaaaay!! :P So what's the best thing to do while waiting for her.. eat again! hehee.. Exaggee!! Di naman! Baboy na ako! ahah! :) My dad and I just decided to have some coffee, but since I don't drink cofee, I tried Mocha Freeze instead :) Sarap rin!!


chillin ;)

A really good way to cap a good night! :) or maybe its because everything that i have eaten was free. hehe :) And when we got back to our house, our whole family had a videoke session. haha! :) well nasabihan lng naman ako ng mom ko na maganda voice ko. hahhaha! :)The night was so good that when my dad wanted me to try this new sound system that he bought, guess what song played first?.. You don't know my name.. :)

bic walked away at 11:58 PM

9.09.2004

Since its just a few days before the start of another term (yeck!!), i really have to make the most out of my vacation. hehe. So after Puerto Galera, today I went to Greenbelt with my sister. hehe. Since I don't have money, we met with our dad. haha! :) He treated us to this restaurant, i forgot the name, Mediterranean something something. Although I don't really like that kind of food, still I ate a lot. hehe. What can i do? I love eating! :D Remembering my dad's expression as soon as he asked if we wanted to eat, my eyes must have super lighted up, that he could not help but say to me, "basta pagkain ka talaga". haha! Sorry sorry po, food is my weakness. hehe

After that, he treated us to some Videoke VCDs. hehe. :D Because during night time, its been a habit for Kar and I, if were not watching TV, talking on the fone, or surfing the net, is to have some videoke sessions. hehe. And right now, most of our videoke VCDs are for males, which are no fun to sing. The likes of Tom Jones, Matt Monroe ( yeck! ) Its because lately my dad is into singing also. haha! Right now, I could even hear him. haha! :) Whenever I sing, my dad usually say "Maawa ka sa amin anak!" If only I could say the same thing to him. hehe. :) Wag na lang. Still need my allowance. haha! :) I just love my daddy! :) Pero in fairness, he does have a good singing voice. ;)

bic walked away at 8:47 PM

9.08.2004

ISARADO ANG PINTOOO! hehe. :) That's what Alf would usually shout at us during our stay at Puerto Galera. haha! :D Yup, Just came home from our trip to Galera. And I must say, those 3 days spent there were among one of the best days I ever had. :) It was one of the best because, not only was the place great but most of all because of the people I'm with, my friends specifically my s19 family. :) Co, Seyds, Niks, Shatz, Pamy, Zaids, Alf, Lion, Joms, Rage and I would probably agree that going there was a decision that we did'nt regret. Yeeeeesss! :) haha!

I must admit that I thought it would not push through. Because usually, since 1st year, we were all bout planning, planning, and planning about parties, get-togethers but when it comes to executing the plan, well lets just say, the thoughts of most would probably, "di naman matutuloy yan eh! ". True enough, it almost did not push through. Imagine, 2 days before the date, it was raining hard and there were even signs of a storm coming in. And even a week before it, there really was no discussion of the trip, not even to where we would all meet. :( But maybe it was just meant to be because at the last minute, everything just seem to fall into place or maybe, Lion just really wanted to go there at all costs. hehe! :) It might seem corny but really when we arrived at Galera, most of us could not believe that we were finally there. hehe. :)

MONDAY
Call time at the bus station was at 6. But Rage, Niks and I arrived there waaaay past 6 already due to some unforseen circumstances. hehe. Good thing they were all there already waiting for us because they prevented the bus from going without the 3 of us. Awww. hehe :D From the bus to the boat ride, when we arrived at Puerto, we immediately looked for the place we intended to stay in, unfortunately, it was not what we were hoping for. Since we were all first timers to go there, it was a good thing, that some manangs were kind enough to have assisted us to look for some rooms. No joke but we were able to check out almost half of the rooms available on that place, unfortunately, either the room was too small, too expensive, or too far from the beach. The sun was in super FULL heat at that time that it made me think, yup, we've finally arrived. We even had to seperate into 3 groups just to look for a place. Although technically its just 2 groups cause the 3rd group just sat in one place wooow!! :P But it was all worth it when Jom's group discovered this place in front of the beach. :D The people, the surroundings but most of all the washroom were all nice and clean. A perfect place for us especially since we were planning to fit all 11 of us in a room fit for only 6 people. hehe. I don't know how but we managed to do it :D

Since everyone was so tired, no activity was planned for that day. I was so sleepy and tired that when I used the hammock, in front of our room, I immediately fell alseep. hehe :) So what we did was just to of course, eat, swim and explore the place. The waves were so high that it was really fun riding it. hehe :) We even saw some CCS people during our LLOONNG walk to the end of the White Beach. There we took A LOT of pictures of ourselves. hehe. :D Pictures that included embarassing images of myself being FORCED by the group to be buried in the sand. Grrr!! Of all people, Ako pa talaga eh! During Dinner, we discussed the activities for the next day while Niks started this "thinking game". hehe. We were all so tired that after taking a bath, even if we looked like sardines in a can, everyone seemed to have fallen asleep easily. Especially Niks who fell asleep the instant she laid down on the bed. hihi.

TUESDAY

Our second day was action packed. haha!:D Woke up with a smile on my face :) Started the day snorkeling. It was a first for me so i was really excited and at the same time scared. But the world under the sea was really beautiful esp. up close that you forget your apprehensions immediatley. After that, we then went swimming again. I was hoping to at least get a tan unfortunately, namula lng ako.huhu :( Then it was now time for the hiking. Haaay!! Grabe!!! It was one of the longest and tiring walks I have ever taken. And if that was not enough, my slippers broke. waaah!! :( Because of that, I was forced to climb barefoot! I was just concentrating that I''ll get to the top so I won't feel the hard objects hurting my feet.Just call me Ula, ang babaing gubat! >:( Sama tlga ni Joms! Our hiking's main objective was to reach the waterfall. After passing about 12 ilogs, we finally reached the waterfall only to see it was just one waterfall. correction. One small waterfall. AAAAAAHHH!!! Nadaya ako!! hehe. :) But the water was so cold that it was really refreshing to take a dip that you no longer remember your dissapointment. :) But honestly, if it weren't for the fact that I really enjoyed the company, I would have complained my way to the top. :) Instead, I was laughing and having fun not minding the heat of the sun. I must say I was really impressed with the kid who guided us. His name was Michael, and if it were'nt for the fact that he waited for us all the time, he would have reached the destination really fast. After that, we went swimming again. hehe. Seyds and I really made sure na sulit talaga. Even if it was already night time, Rage, Alf, Seyds and I still swam. Sarap!! especially since the waves were really high and came continously. :D After our dinner, we had a bonfire, and there the conversations, revelations and secrets shifted from serious to funny to sad and to even shock. Honestly, I really liked the bonfire experience. Its not because I'm chismosa ha! but its because I love to listen to my friends' stories, and somehow, even if my degree of closeness to my friends are different, that experience somehow felt like I knew them much deeper and I understood them better. It sort of drew me much closer to them..

At about 3:30 in the morning, we decided to shift our bonfire much closer to our place. There we would now tell ghost stories, unfortunately, we could not start another bonfire. :( and since the others were getting sleepy already, the others decided to just go back to our room. While, Seyds, Alf, Rage, Co and I decided to wait for the sunrise at this nice part of the place we were staying in. While waiting for it, we played a simple "country game". Maybe I was too sleepy but I made this error of saying a place starting with A because I though Mindanao, ended with an A. Pffft!!! Bobo!! haha! :D I must have left my brain in Manila! Then maybe at around 5, I just fell asleep. I think the manongs might have thought that we felt we were too crowded in the room because we slept outside. haha!:) Alf and Seyds slept at the hammocks. While Rage and I shared the wooden bed, so did Joms and Co on another bed.

WEDNESDAY
But what was even better was when I woke up the next morning. IT WAS one of THE BEST SLEEPS i EVER had. Even if I just slept for a couple of hours and the bed was not really the most comfortable, but just waking up by the beach was the best. I felt fresh and at peace. Mang Raul, who was the caretaker of our place, was really nice because when we all woke up, he had placed blankets on us. :) That day was just meant for buying souvenirs since at 12:40, the boat would leave already. Haaaaayy!! Even at the last minute, we were still in a hurry. hahah!! :D

No wonder when we were already near the bus station near Taft, since me, Rage and Niks, were the first one to go down and leave, although I was happy, still kinda felt sad. I remembered telling Niks and Rage while waiting for our Bus, that we were now back to reality. :( True enough it was like that because when met Tufe at KFC, it felt like everything was back to normal again.

Sayang lang cause I was not able to bring a camera :( Good thing zaids, co, shatz brought theirs. Wala tuloy me solo pics masyado. :( Although somehow, it seemed like a brought my own. Thanks to zaids. :P Because of her, I did get my solo pics but the major difference was that puro embarassing pics ko. GRRR!!! Pictures of me sleeping, almos crying.. hmp!!

But it still did not changed the fact that it was a super happy and fun-filled trip. :D It was fun since I was with my friends and that we were all first timers there. hehe. :) Since it was September 8, my family and I went to hear mass for Mama Mary's Birthday as soon as I reached our house. Even if I had fun, I still missed my family. :) During the mass, I thanked for my friends, and my family, especially for making sure that Jesus protected us from harm on our trip. Saya Talaga. :) Pero I'm not making drama or anything but honestly, the place might be super nice and all, but it was really the people whom I was with that really made it super fun. :) Am really blessed to have great friends. :) This trip is definitely unforgettable. Hope it would happen soon, BUT not too soon,because I AM officially DIRT POOR!!! Yup, I was able to last with the money that i had!! Galing!!:)

bic walked away at 10:31 PM

Just came home from our trip to Puerto Galera. And I must say, those 3 days spent there were among one of the best days I ever had. :) It was one of the best because, not only was the place great but most of all because of the people I'm with, my friends specifically my s19 family :) Co, Seyds, Niks, Shatz, Pamy, Zaids, Alf, Lion, Joms, Rage and I would probably agree that going there was a decision that we did'nt regret. Yeeeeesss! :) haha!

I'll just write the rest of the story tommorrow. Am super duper sleepy. Haaaay!! This is what i get from wanting to see the sunrise today. heheh. :D

bic walked away at 10:28 PM

9.06.2004

In 3 hours I should be waking up. I really should be sleeping right now. Pero ndi me makatulog. waaah!!! haaay.. Lagot ako nito tommorrow :P

And its not because super excited ako noh!! EXCUSME Lionel!! hmp! grr!

bic walked away at 1:46 AM

9.05.2004

Just had my hair cut :( Why the sad face? Becaue I don't like it. The lenght was too short, which was not the way I intended it to be :P I know I should not have had that hair cut but I had to. My parents wanted me to. And I had no choice because I really want to go to our outing. And cutting my hair would increase the chances of them allowing me by a 100% haaayy!! the things I have to do :P the only good thing is that I'm stil able to tie it into a ponytail.

Anyway, even before the 1st term started, my mom really wanted my hair shorter but good thing my dad always said that long hair looked better on me. Unfortunately, for some reasons, my dad wanted it be short also. Grr! and what my daddy likes, he usually gets it. i remembered before, my daddy wanted me to have a boy cut, and so I did. Just so he won't make tampo. Yup! I had a hair-do which was really short. just remembering it makes me shiver. Yech! Super! Because of that hair cut, some of the girls at my high school even thought that I was a tomboy. Although I don't have anything against tomboys cause I must admit I do have friends but The nerve!!!! It was that short. I would have posted a picture of that pero wag na lng, baka mag iba pa tingin nyo sa akin. hehe

Super excited na me. :) the only thing that's worrying me is the money. i really did'nt want to ask a lot from my parents, any favors or cash, cause abuso na. Good thing Rage is nice enough to pick me up here at our house so I would'nt have to ask my dad to drive me to school so early in the morning. :)

Bahala na. hehe. Make the most out of it na lng tlga. :) Papanoorin ko na lng sila pag wala na me pera. or maybe I'll just walk by the beach, baka may maawa sa akin. hahaha! :)

bic walked away at 9:17 PM

Just as I thought so, I can't prevent myself from not going to the mall. :) hehe. Yup. fully recovered na me. i was in high spirits when I went to the mall today with my sisters knowing my ate was going to treat us but most especially because I have learned that one of my favorite events was happening, MIDNIGHT MADNESS SALE. Hayyyy!! i can't help but smile. hahahha!! :)

At first I did'nt want to go because I felt guilty knowing the situation that I was in, but my sisters really persuaded me to go. Syempre payag na ako. hehe. Haayy.. really love my sisters. :) Always have been supportive of me, wether about school, pagtakas among others. hehe Before one of my biggest frustrations, aside from singing (hehe), was to have a brother, but I would not trade my sisters for anything. *sniff, sniff*

We all went shopping courtesy of my ate. As soon as we got to Glorietta, we literally went to each of our favorite stores eager to find somehting that we liked. Good thing I was wearing flats. ;) I bought a blouse and some accessories, while my sisters each got shoes. After that, since we were on a tight budget, we ate at Tokyo Tokyo. I promise! Nalugi yata sila. Knowing how much I love rice, just like my ate. hahaha! :D

I guess, my vacation has officially started. yipee!! This was really a fun day, and I'm looking forward to having a great vacation even for just one week. :D Kaya pag niyaya ko kayo ah.. :D

bic walked away at 12:52 AM

9.03.2004

Saw Michael today and he was nice enough to accompany me even for a short while. Because of him, i was able to download the Windows Media Player v10. and can i say that I love it. Its like winamp, musicmatch all rolled into one. :) I immediately uninstalled my winamp. hehe. :) You could even minimize it and the buttons for the player will appear at the taskbar. cute :) The interface could even be cascaded to the color that you want. I suggest that you download it. Guess i better stop now cause I know I sound like the person from those home tv shopping channels. hehe


nag cap si joms para you won't
notice his kagusgusan. hehe

Speaking of friends, am with Joms right now. I guess he went to school for his monitor, and to clean up their thesis room. Am still kind of teary eyed when I told him what happened, but I think am recovering. hehe. :) Si Joms ksi eh. Classic! How could I not laugh aloud. I Can't help it esp with Joms' hirits and most especially his facial expressions. haha! :) Was suppose to post a solo pic of Joms, but he did'nt want to. Gusgusin daw sya. haaaay! Joms = Vain! But if you want to see it, you could freely request for it. Just buzz me at YM. haha! But definitely, Joms is going to be one of my friends I'll really miss when I go to school next term :(

bic walked away at 4:50 PM

Went to School today with Kar for the enrollment :( I did'nt want to stay at our house because I know if I did that, I would have all these sad thoughts running through my head.

When I woke up this morning and instead of the usual "its going to be a good day" replaying in my head, the sadness still lingers. Yup, I'm still feeling sad but its going to be for today only. i promise! :) No point, as they say, "crying over spilled milk". But the evidence is still there. Namamaga mata ko. From the crying last night. I look like someone who's eyes were bitten by an insect :P grr!

My mom went to my room this morning, and told me that everything is going to be okay. And that this coming term, I should do my best and to never forget to ask for the Lord's Guidance. As expected, she gave me always an assurance of their support for me. And yes, still feeling emotional, I cried again. Even cried after she left and so I called Co. Even if it was just a short conversation, knowing that my friends are there is enough to make me feel good and to know that they are always there to help me. Good times or crappy times.

So I'm here now at the thesis room. I just missed Tufe and Niks since they went here much earlier because of Tufe's Dad. But its okay. I'll just download whatever files I need. But what I really want is to go shopping. If only I had the money :( Actually my sister and I were planning to go to Makati today but I just felt like I did'nt want to. WOAAAH!! That's how sad I'm feeling. Imagine, me passing up on going to a Mall!?!


Pilit smile and namamaga na mata. crap

But I think I'm starting to get better. I Can now smile whenever I remember a joke. hehe. I can't wait to start the next term already. Can I just say how i'll become such a nerd! hehe. Something to look forward to is knowing that i still have most of my friends with me like Co and Seyds.

I guess I'll end it here cause I'll meet Kar na. And I know by tomorrow, Tuloy na naman ang ligaya. haha!

bic walked away at 1:21 PM

9.02.2004

I've got nothing but myself to Blame

Just a word of caution, this entry is long and dramatic. This is me during my rare sad moments..

I know I'm usually happy and cheerful, but this entry has got to be the saddest and hopefully the last that I'll ever write :( I know I'm "mababaw ang kaligayahan" bordering to even being corny but as easy as I could laugh, "mababaw ang luha" ko. Right now, I don't know why my tears won't stop from falling. I desperately want it to stop cause I don't want to feel anymore, but it just won't. Its been awhile since I cried like this. and I hate what I'm feeling. I just want to sleep and wake up to find that everything would be fine again..

Honestly, I was still okay. I was laughing, singing in the thesis room, ate a lot, played NES games, even told jokes. But after saying my goodbyes to Niks, Tuf and Rage from the FX ride, I decided to walk from the entrance of our village to our house. Maybe I just wanted to be alone, to just think. And that's when everything sunk in..

I had finally told my parents. I still have one more term to go. And its breaking my heart to know that instead of scolding me or being angry at me, they showed me, as always, understanding and love despite the dissapointment that I've caused. I know they won't tell it to me but instead, will support me by always showing me and telling me that its okay and that I did my best, but I know it can never change the fact that I failed them.

When I started this term, I knew it would not be easy. I bravely faced the challenge of having an overload of 22 units mostly ST and Math subjects including Thesis. I knew my friends and mostly my groupmates discouraged me from doing so because since there was the all-important thesis and I was the "leader", it would make it even more difficult for me. But I WANTED so badly to get it over and done with, and with my usual optimistic view, I just believed that I could do it. And the thing is, I almost did..if only for that one single subject..

This term seemed to be one of the hardest terms I had to deal with. Not because of just academics, but because of all these feelings that I had to go through. Being Scared, Irritated, Happy, Embarassed, just name it. I mean, we had a thesis that had so many problems and revisions that I comtemplated on dropping it. I had subjects that had the same tests on the same day with just an hour seperating it and Projects that required solo time I did'nt know what to do next. Me, being optimistic, sometimes took a crash. But one thing that made me realize all over again is how blessed I am because of my sisters, my friends, and my parents...

My Sisters whom despite our petty quarrels, have always been there to help me even by just their little ways like bringing me food or letting me use the computer. But most importantly by just listening while I rant, complain..

My Friends who have always been there to support me. Everytime I skip my classes to do thesis, they make it a point to give me notes or to allot their time to just teach me the lessons I've missed. Special mention to Tuf, Au, Co and Ellie. Or by just telling me of how proud they are of me and how much they believed in me. Or even by just making me laugh so I won't think of the pressure and all. Most especially to my thesis grpmates. 3 words: we did it! :) And to my Highschool barkada, who even if I don't see that often, never fails to check up on me and to remind me that they're still there for me.

Just like today, during our dinner at KFC, Rage, Tuf and Niks told me after telling them how miserable I was feeling, that i should be proud of myself because despite being an "overload", i handled our thesis well and just had one failure. What's sweet also was when Niks went to school, she brought me and Tufe, donuts. awww! :) It makes me smile by just remembering it. I don't know how it started but its usually a "tradition" between Rage, Niks and I that when the other two is sad, the other would treat some donuts :)

Also to Kathy, Au and most especially to Ellie. We may not belong to the same cirlce of friends, but the help that they have given me made me survive. Esp. to Ellie, I don't regret making chikka with you all the time ;) To be honest, I have grown to value and be thankful for this friendship

And to my Parents. Despite the dissapointments, NEVER have they changed their faith in me and support. And its killing me knowing how they have given me that unconditional love. I remembered a friend telling me when I confided my dilemma, he told me that "ndi sila magagalit, mahal ka ng magulang mo". As cheesy as it may sound, its true. Right now, my dad just called. I thought he would scold me but instead he's checking up on me if I've already eaten my dinner. And i can't help but cry all over again.

Haaayy. Stop na nga. I sound like someone accepting a Famas award or something. hehe pero serious me ah!

You win some, you lose ONE

I thought I would be proud of myself this term. Miraculously, we passed Thesis. Outside Academics, I was able to meet new friends :) I was almost at the finish line, but sadly, I came up short. I still failed a subject. I'm never the type to have regrets but right now, i'm saying to myself, if only I have done that or if I've done this. But I know its not going to change the fact I failed. Somehow I knew it was coming considering the number of absences that i had because of our thesis, but deep inside, I still felt that maybe just maybe I'll get lucky. And so today, i wore my lucky shirt. But as luck would have it, I got lucky with some other things. hehe Hay naku, ito nanaman po ako. Kaya sometimes my friends won't believe when I'm sad cause even when I'm crying, I still manage to laugh. Nababaliw na ako :P But that's me. I guess, I sometimes hate myself for always looking at the brighter things or by having this "good" mood everytime despite of.

but even though it may seem that as if Jesus did not heed my wish for a mircale, i can never complain because despite this setback, i think I'm living an almost perfect life because I'm always surrounded with good and loving people and a family that loves me super, and as they say, you can't have everything..

Just give me one day to get senti and emotional, but I just bet, knowing myself, after that day, you can hear me laugh from about a mile because of one corny joke. Joke lang! :)

I guess this term, something has got to to give. We may have passed thesis but I still failed a subject. But I've got nothing but myself to blame. One word for this day? BITTERSWEET

bic walked away at 11:27 PM

9.01.2004

bic walked away at 1:17 PM